


evermore

by little_boats_on_a_lake



Category: Taylor Swift (Musician), Taylor Swift - Fandom, evermore - Taylor Swift (Album), is there a swift verse?, swiftverse
Genre: Based on a Taylor Swift Song, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Song: champagne problems (Taylor Swift), Song: gold rush (Taylor Swift), Song: willow (Taylor Swift), big city girl goes home, childhood sweetheart, christmas fics, heart been broke so many times, inspired by evermore, no beta we die like women, nobody's going to find this so no pressure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:00:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28220547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_boats_on_a_lake/pseuds/little_boats_on_a_lake
Summary: Dorothea Rivers thought she left her small town life behind her for good when she finally made it big. She had everything she could have wanted- fame, fortune, and her name in bright lights.So why the hell was she back here again? Her father could have visited her in Los Angeles, the city of angels, like every year.And yet, here she was. Right back in her childhood bedroom.With Noah Graham still down the street from her. Her annoyingly beautiful ex-best friend. Who probably hates her guts.Nothing the magic of Christmas can't fix... right?
Relationships: Original Character/Original Character
Comments: 12
Kudos: 7





	1. willow

“Hurry up!” 

“Slow down, I can’t keep up!” She giggled, almost tripping over her feet. Noah stopped, just for a second, to give her his hand. 

“Well? Are you coming?” He flashed her a toothy grin.

“Yeah.” Thea grabbed his hand and held on tight as they raced deeper into the forest. 

“This is it.” 

“Wooaahhh. It’s a treehouse! That’s so cool!” Thea walked around the tree, letting the bark of the tree gently scrape at her hand. “Whose is it?”

“Ours now. Come on up.” Noah was already grabbing onto the planks nailed into the tree, ignoring how… steep… and sharp... it was.

“Noah, I’m scared. Maybe we should wait for our mommies to see it first?”

“Don’t worry, Thea. I’m right here, see.” He had already clambered into the little tree house. She had barely even noticed him climb it. It seemed so natural for him. “Come on. Don’t you trust me?”

“I…” She stared up at the tree house. Why did it have to be so high off the ground? “I trust you.” Her hand trembled as she pulled herself up the ladder nailed into the tree. 

“See? You got it!” 

Noah spoke too soon. Thea looked down at the ground far below and her clammy hand let go.

“I got you!” He reached out for her hand, using what little strength he had to pull her back. “Don’t be scared! I won’t let go!” She scrambled into the treehouse, clutching onto Noah’s hand the whole time. 

“Thanks.” She whispered shakily, leaning on his shoulder.

“Hey, would I ever let you get hurt?”

“What if you were mad at me?”

“Nope. Not even then.”

“Promise?”

“Pinky promise.” Still not letting go of her hand, he hooked his little finger around hers. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”

* * *

Three bright lights flashed in Thea’s window. It was late and they were _supposed_ to be asleep. But they were eight years old! Bedtimes were for babies and they were _not_ babies. She pushed the glass window up and grabbed her own flashlight, clicking it twice. _Message received_.

“Hey.” Noah pushed his window up and leaned out on the windowsill.

“Is it bad?”

“Nah. But my mom grounded me for a whole week.”

“Let me see.” Noah lifted up his shirt, revealing a thin line that would most likely scar.

“Isn’t it so cool?”

“Noah, you got hurt. That’s not cool.”

“Oh, come on. It’s a little cool.”

“You got in a fight and he scratched you with a pencil!”

“Exactly. That’s like the definition of cool.” 

“I don’t know. I think it was really dumb of you. Why did you even need to punch Bobby Wheeler? He’s a _fourth_ grader.”

“So? He was pulling on Wendy’s hair just ‘cuz she’s a redhead. _That_ wasn’t cool.”

“So what? You could have just told the teacher.”

“I did. Two days ago.”

“Why are you so obsessed with Wendy Miller anyway? You didn’t need to get involved.”

“Thea, you’re my best friend in the whole world, so that’s the only reason why I’m telling you this.” He looked around, as if someone would be spying on their conversation and the scandalous truth he was about to reveal.

“I have a crush on Wendy Miller.”

Thea felt her heart drop. Wendy Miller? What? But she was so… boring! She didn’t want to play secret agents with them and in art class, she liked to color by herself. Why would Noah have a crush on _her_ ? But Noah was her best friend and best friends supported each other. Even if one of them had a crush that needed to be crushed. 

It was so obvious. Why else was he always staring at her and trying to invite her to hang out with them? She should have known from the way he always looked at her. Why couldn’t he look at _her_ like that?

_Wait, what?_

“Thea?”

“Hm?”

“You won’t tell _anybody_ , right? You _can’t_ . Especially not her.” 

“Why not? Don’t you want to tell her?”

“Oh, Thea. So young and innocent in the ways of the world.”

“I’m three months older than you.”

“You don’t just _tell_ someone you like them. You work up to it and hope they pick up on your vibes.”

“You want Wendy to like you because you have vibes.” She deadpanned. 

“Well, when you say it like that…” Noah cringed. 

“That is exactly what you just said. Exactly.”

“I didn’t say it that badly.”

“You did!” Thea laughed. “That’s pretty much what you said!” 

Noah snorted, badly trying and failing to hold in a laugh. A warmth bubbled up in her chest as they laughed, trying not to wake the rest of the house. She froze, the laughter dying in her throat. 

No.

 _No_.

Noah literally _just_ told her that he had a crush on Wendy.

Unacceptable.

He was her best friend!

“Hellooo? Earth to Thea? What’s going on? What were you thinking about?” She forced a smile on her face. She was fine. They were fine. Everything was perfectly fine.

“Nothing at all.” She smiled sweetly. 

As if that wasn’t the biggest lie she had ever told.

  
  
  



	2. champagne problems

The train car was quiet. It was almost scary. Thea looked over at her aunts, blissfully asleep. Must be nice. She turned back to the window, gazing up at the moon. Things seemed so much simpler a few weeks ago. Now, she couldn’t figure out if she wished her train car was less packed or more crowded. It felt like everyone was watching her. All of their sleeping bodies seemed to be pointing at her, with her eyes open and her mind buzzing with thoughts, thoughts, thoughts.

Everything was cold. It was so much colder without Noah here. He held her hand through all of this. And now? Who knew when she would even see him again? She looked down at her cold hand. It used to fit perfectly into his. The new ring on her finger gleamed in the cold air. It was too big for where it was supposed to fit, but she didn’t care. It would keep her safe, he said. He said his mom had worn it for years when her brother left for the army and she missed him. It would be like he was right there, holding her hand again.

 _“Call an ambulance! A doctor, someone!”_ It was way too quiet. _“I don’t think she’s breathing!”_ Soft breathing echoed around the room. _“Is she going to be okay?”_ The gentle rattling and clanking of the train sang a quiet lullaby. _“Doc, I think she’s crashing out.”_ It was too quiet.

Screaming. Crying. Lightning storms. Noah had to drag her away from the hospital that night. She couldn’t go home. Mrs. Graham was kind enough to let her stay with them “as long as she needed.” Thea wouldn’t want to go home ever again. The funeral was so gray. There were popped corks and toasts to her mother’s memory. _“To Marjorie,”_ they all chimed in unison and downed a glass of her favorite champagne. _“A wonderful mother. A lovely bride.”_ It wasn’t right. Of course Thea didn’t have any, but the scent and memory of that champagne was of happy days, of Thanksgiving dinners and Christmases with smiles and laughter. And now? Now, it was stained with the tears that would drop over a stone grave as friends and family would talk about how they would miss her.

But they would move on. How could she? This wasn’t just something you moved on from. It seemed her dad thought the same thing. She was scared to talk to him again. He was always drunk. Always. Thea never saw him again without a bottle in his hand and a sour smell in the air. People were starting to pick up on it. So had his own sister.

Thea remembered it clearly. Her aunt Inez had gotten down on her knees and asked her very gently if she would want to live with her in California until her father could take care of her again. She didn’t know what to say. Mrs. Graham said she would always have a place in their home. _Their_ home. Not hers. Aunt Inez’s place wasn’t much better off, but she was still family. Thea’s home was the one where her mom never had a stroke and her dad was still awake in the middle of the day. And now it was gone. What else could she say?

Noah held her hand more than ever in those weeks. She couldn’t say a word. They asked if she wanted to give a eulogy. Noah had to answer for her. _“Thank you very much, but she’s just not up for it yet.”_ She heard that more often than she would have liked. People asked if she was okay, if she needed someone to talk to. What could she say to that? She couldn’t give a reason for anything. No, she wasn’t okay. No, she wasn’t sure if she would even open her mouth again. The last time she had, flashing lights had painted her house red and her mother had left forever.

And then, she let go of his hand. She didn’t need his tether holding her in their lovely little Oregon town. But she wanted it. She wanted it so much now, to feel the calluses on his palms and the little scar over his knuckle. She wanted the warmth of his touch, reassuring her that everything was going to be the same and nothing had to change.

No. She hadn’t let go. She had dropped his hand. And he looked heartbroken. Heartbroken as she boarded the train, all of her things in a suitcase, her image getting smaller and smaller as she walked away. Heartbroken as he chased after her to press a ring in her hand, promising he would always be here for her and if he couldn’t, this ring would.

Heartbroken as she dropped his hand for the last time.


	3. gold rush

Thea’s father got out of rehab and came back home.

She did not.

Noah waited day after day for his best friend to return home. They sent emails back and forth, but every time he asked when she would be back, she would only say one thing. I don’t know. She wanted to come home, she promised that in every letter, but Thea never returned to their little town. Nobody knew where she went.

But everyone knew where Dorothea Rivers went. A few weeks after the funeral, Inez had asked her brother if he would be okay with her going to a school to study drama. It was a long shot by any means. The school was so hard to get into but maybe the summer program would make her feel better about her stay in Los Angeles?

Not even she had expected the acceptance letter that would arrive for her. Nobody had expected her to stay in the city of angels. Nobody had expected her to become the crown jewel of the angels.

The emails stopped coming back after a while. When the first email bounced back, unable to find the email address, Noah switched over to traditional letters. He never knew if they made it to their final destination. He didn’t stop sending them.

When Dorothea Rivers made her debut on the silver screen, Noah was the first to buy a ticket to see her movie. His friends laughed at him for being so starstruck by his old friend, but they were all entranced by the end of the night. It wasn’t uncommon for anyone at her old school to confess they had a crush on Dorothea Rivers now, with her gleaming and twinkling eyes that could bring anyone to their knees. None of them would ever confess knowing Thea, with her “imperfect” freckles and the dumb bangs she finally grew out.

Dorothea Rivers became a shining beacon of hope, that anyone could make it out of their little town if they tried hard enough. Thea was lost in the memories of years gone by, forgotten like that funeral where they had poured out glasses of champagne.

Forgotten by everyone except one young boy without his best friend.

What must it have been like to grow up that beautiful? Dorothea finally grew into the body that felt like it was too chubby and too short, just like Noah always reassured her. He didn’t think she looked any different. She was still as pretty as the day she left. Everyone else just decided to see her the way he had always seen her.

Mr. Rivers always had him over for something or the other. He needed to have his attic cleaned out or he needed help clearing up all the dust around his house. Noah didn’t mind. Mr. Rivers was clearly lonely and Noah couldn’t blame him. Thea’s old room became like an escape from his own house, with her old Eagles tee shirt hanging from the door and the feel of her still hanging in the air.

His memories blurred over the years. He remembered how she always corrected him when they laughed over lunches and dinners, but he couldn’t remember the distinct way she held her fork when she was about to say something. He remembered how her mouth quirked up when she tried not to laugh, but he couldn’t remember the sound of her musical laughter. All his memories colored with rose lenses faded to an odd gray.

It was a sad day when he forgot the way she used to look. It was sad when most of Thea was replaced by the larger than life Dorothea Rivers. He fought as hard as he could to hold on to Thea, but she slipped away into his gray memories.

Noah had his first panic attack all alone in their old treehouse.

He didn’t tell anyone until it became a problem.


	4. dorothea

“Shush!”

“What, man? I’m just saying this show doesn’t make any-”

“No, I’m serious. Shut up.” He leaned forward on the couch, anxiously anticipating the scene. 

_“Shame on me.”_ The actress on the screen looked away in shame. _“Shame on me for ever having trusted you with my delicate heart.”_

“Are you serious right now?” Justin threw a pillow at his roommate. “It’s been years. You need to move on.”  
  
“She was my best friend. I’m just supporting her by watching her show.” Noah didn’t even turn to look at Justin, unable to tear his eyes away from the screen.

“You’re a horrible liar.”

“Am not. Megan never found out about where her duvet went, right?” 

“Stop changing the topic.”  
  
“I’m not doing anything. If anyone’s changing the topic, you are.” 

“You’re just avoiding the problem.” Justin pulled out his phone and took a scandalous picture of Noah staring at the screen in all of his pining glory. Noah blinked at the sound of Justin’s camera, but Justin already had someone in a conversation.

“Hey, Mark.” He got up and walked around the couch, finally getting Noah to look away from the screen.

“Jus, what are you doing?”

“Yeah, no, I’m good.”  
“Justin, give me the phone.” 

“You’re gonna have to come and get it.” He whispered before he returned to his conversation. Justin (speedwalked) to the kitchen, far away from their screen. “You know Dorothea Rivers, right?”

“Justin! I’m going to kill you when I get that phone back.” Noah looked back at the screen before vaulting over the couch to chase Justin.

“Right, right. So Noah totally has a crush on her, right?” Justin made eye contact with Noah and laughed. “I know! It’s so- hey!” Noah slapped the phone out of his hand and hung up. 

“What the hell? We’re grown men. We don’t tease each other about crushes anymore.”

“ _We_ might not, but _I_ sure will.”

“I hate you.”  
“Love you too, buddy. Now, come on, we need to find out if Nick is marrying Shania or Anna.” They sat in front of the screen, but Noah couldn’t focus on the scene. Even if it was Dorothea Rivers herself making a guest appearance.

“Noah, you doing okay, bud?” Noah stared at his hands. 

“Not really.” He mumbled.

“Damn, this girl really did a number on you. You’ve got to move on.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“What? You need closure or something?”

“What? No. I don’t need closure. Our relationship isn’t over, she just… stopped responding to my letters. I bet she was just too busy to answer them.”

“Okay, so that’s what we’re _not_ going to do.”

“What are you doing?”

“What I’m doing,” Justin slammed a notepad and a pen in front of Noah. “is getting you closure. You’re telling her exactly why she sucks and then we’re burning this.”

“This is a stupid idea, Jus.”

“It’s _an_ idea. Just go for it.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“What? I did what you wanted me to do.”

“No! This is the _opposite_ of what I told you. You were supposed to give this girl a piece of your mind, not write her a damn love letter!”

“It’s _not_ a love letter.”

“Are you kidding me right now? _I’ve got nothing but well wishes for you_ ? _It’s never too late to come back to my side_ ? _The stars in your eyes shined brighter in Tupelo_!? That’s a love letter. When did you even go to Vegas?”

“It’s a friendly letter. We were just friends.”

“Oh god. You aren’t even an old flame?” Justin smacked his head. “You idiot. You absolute fool.” Noah made a move to snatch the letter back from him, but Justin held it just out of his reach.

“Whatever. Closure or not, I’m done with these letters. She clearly isn’t responding, so let’s just throw that way and I’ll stop writing letters.”

“You promise?” Noah’s breath hitched in his throat. _You promise?_ Her voice echoed in his head. No. He was done. This was the last one. Justin was right. He didn’t need this stress in his life anymore. “You good?”

“This is the last one. I promise.” 

“I’ll toss it out for you.” 

“Would you? Thanks, Jus. You’re a good friend.” Noah clapped Justin on the shoulder before going to his room, most likely to just flop over on his bed and mope over his first good decision in a long time.

“I hope I am.” Justin stared at the letter before sealing it in an envelope and marking it with the address of Dorothea Rivers. “I really hope I am.”

  
  



	5. closure

Dorothea stared at the letter in front of her. It was from Noah.

She didn't need to open it. She knew. To open or not to open? That was the question.  
  
To be fair, she knew what it would say.

  
_"How are you? Have you been okay in your new life in the big city? Why haven't you responded to my letters before?"_

  
That last question really scared her. There was no reason for it. Just her own cowardice.

She had gotten all of his previous letters. Every single one. He always wished her well and never asked for anything, even though she was famous now. She got those letters from any of her other classmates, but not from Noah. Never from him. seeing his signature still stung. It had grown and changed so much over the years. Just like she had. Just like he must have. His signature was just another reminder of all she had lost since she moved to LA.

She had opened every single one of his letters but seeing his signature still stung. It had grown and changed so much over the years. Just like she had. Just like he must have. His signature was just another reminder of all she had lost since she moved to LA.

  
Yes, her life was "fun" and "glamorous" now (as all these other letters would remind her) but Noah's letters had never changed. They were simple reminders of an easier time.

God, how they burned in her hands.

It would have been so much easier to throw them out if he had ever asked for anything. No, wait, correction. If he ever asked for anything other than for her to come home, even it it was just for a quick visit.

  
That life was behind her. Dorothea knew that. If she went home, she may never want to come back. The very idea scared her more than anything. She missed her old life so much, but she loved everything in her new life equally. How could Noah ask her to give everything up like that?

  
No. No. That wasn't fair to him. It wasn't his fault. None of it really was. She was just searching for something to justify her decisions. Staying friends would have ironed it out so nicely. She could have told him everything and, like always, he would have some kind of a temporary fix.

  
But staying friends was just so hard. The would mean she had to acknowledge that she had messed up big time and who knew if he would even want to forgive her?

Whatever. She could worry about it later.

  
Or many be she newer had to worry about it again. A small letter fluttered out from behind the letter and came to a rest on her foot.

  
He was giving her a choice.

  
She could respond to this letter or she could have it without a response and he would stop writing to her, if that's what she wanted.

  
She could have responded.

  
She _should_ have responded.

But he took the time to type this out and include it with the lefter. He obviously was hoping for this to be the last letter he had to write.

  
She was Dorothea Rivers, the girl of dreams.

  
She could grant this one wish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it wasn't clear, Justin totally added that last part asking her to write back. Stop meddling you peasant, that's my job!


	6. cowboy like me

"In celeb news, ohh _boy_ do we have news!" The tv droned on as Dorothea poured her bowl of cereal. Nothing special. Just her usual oats with raisins.

"Poor Cliff. I can't imagine being him right now.”

Ugh. She hated when the little bits got stuck to the roof of her mouth. It felt disgusting, like a tiny tree frog clinging to a... tree. She wasn't good at analogies this early in the morning.

"Well, we can only hope that Dorothea Rivers,” Wait, that was her, she was Dorothea Rivers... “doesn't try anything with him. Goodness knows she's done enough."

Dorothea's spoon lay forgotten in her bowl. She was frantically unlocking her phone, only to find countless missed messages and phone calls. And countless angry fans blowing up her social media feed.

“Cliff, _what_ did you _do_?” 

  
"Dorothea," her manager let out a groan of pure stress. "You've seen the news?"

“Seen it?” No, she was just frantically pacing in her room for fun. “Jamie, people are sending me hate comments about this! What happened?"

"Apparently, Mr. Jarrod decided your fake relationship wasn't enough publicity."   
“Oh God."

"Dorothea? Do you know something I don't about this situation?" Yeesh. Yeah, she *did* know something about this situation. Didn’t mean she wanted to talk about it. But yes. She knew something.

"Cliff...may have caught feelings for me and, uh... tried to *act* on them. "

”What? Why didn’t you tell me?"

She knew it. Jamie was furious. Why wouldn't they be?This whole fiasco could have easily been avoided if she had just handled it better.

  
"I didn't think he would do something like this, I'm sorry!" Donothea could hear an audible sigh of an emotion she couldn't quite decipher. “I'm sorry." 

  
"Why are _you_ apologizing? I'm not mad at you for... I don't know what, but knowing you, it's probably something you over exaggerated." 

  
"You’re not?"

  
"No, of course not! If I'm mad, it’s at that _douchebag_ for... for _violating_ you like this! Did he try anything? Because if he did, I'm going to slap him with so many lawsuits, it’ll make his head spin."

  
"Nothing like that, Jamie. He just tried to kiss me.” Jamie took another long breath.

  
"Dorothea, that's not okay. Are you okay?" 

  
"Take a guess. When can I come into the studio again?"

  
“About that...” They took in a sharp breath.

Seriously, Jamie, enough with all this weird breathing!

“No. Jaime, you can't do this to me. Please, I don't know what he accused me of, but I swear I didn't do it."

"I believe you, I know you didn't! The studio execs on the other hand...”

"So what? They're just dropping me from the movie? Recasting my role with someone else?”

"Calm down. I managed to get us a good compromise. They're willing to believe you, but they want to avoid any bad publicity."

"What are you saying?"

"You may be looking at a Christmas away from LA."

"I have to leave my home? All my plans for the holidays? I had things I wanted to do!"

"I'm really sorry but this was the best compromise I could reach with them."

“Where am I supposed to go? The media will just follow me wherever I go and twist it for more views.”

If Jamie didn’t stop with these stupid _sharp inhales_...

"You're gonna hate this." They paused, waiting for Dorothea to realize where they were implying.

"No. No way. I haven't been back there in years."

"Exactly. They would never expect you to go there."

“Ugh. I hate that you're right.”

"It's only for a while, Dorothea. Just until we get this situation calmed down. After all, he's the one who violated the NDA. I'll drag him to court for you and as soon he gets charged for violating the contract, you can come back."  
  


“I hate that he’s the one who messed up but I’m the one who has to pay for it. I hate everything about this!”

"We all do, honey."

Jamie sounded genuinely sorry for her. Why wouldn't they? Poor little despicable Dorothea Rivers. Who wouldn't love to be her right now? _(Note the sarcasm.)_

Oh. They hung up. Or maybe she had. She had barely noticed. Cliff Jarrod may have been a little airheaded but she had always considered him a close friend, one she could trust as much as you could trust anyone in their industry.  
She dug out the last letter Noah had sent her. It had been a few years. True to his word, he had stopped sending them. She had memorized every word he had written. But that one line...

_It's never too late to come back to my side._

She just hoped he actually meant it.

**Author's Note:**

> Poor Noah :(


End file.
